It’s common sense, yet too often we don’t take it into consideration. You see, the successes in our lives often come with the amount we are willing to serve others. We call this willingness “love.” When we present ourselves to others as “love,” good comes with it. But to understand this concept, the trick is to have no expectation in what you get back in return. Unfortunately, most of the time, we are too selfish. We calculate the success rate of what would happen if we serve others. How many times in your life have you determined that a specific person wasn’t worth your time? And I’m not even talking about a potential mate. I’m just talking about getting to know someone, whether it’s a co-worker, stranger at the gym, or person you met at a networking event or random house party. Too often, opportunities are missed because we don’t realize the importance of building the people around us.
If we reflect on our successful relationships and ask why they became successful, it’s because there was that willingness from one side that took the effort to get to know the other person first. As we make more effort, time will reveal those that genuinely care. A sense of comfort will begin and relationships, whether romantic or non-romantic, will develop.
These relationships that you build will trickle down to every aspect of your life. From business, career, goals, and/or relationships, there will be an impact. When I started to reflect on my actions and behaviors toward other people, I realized all the amazing things that were happening in my life was because I had developed great relationships with the people I encountered. People always tell me that I live an exciting and amazing life for my age. But the honest reality is that I don’t think I would have been able to do all the things I have done without the support of my family, friends, co-workers, and sometimes even strangers.
Sometimes what you get in return when you decide to serve others is an opportunity to pursue your passion. I am no means rich, but I still am given the opportunity to travel all around the world on a monthly basis. The reason? I have close friends that want to be my host for the week or weekend. I have been blessed that they let me stay in their homes and/or allow me to tag along in experiences I would never been able to do if I went by myself.
Sometimes what you get in return are opportunities. I am successful at my job partly because I am good at the technical aspects of it. The other half is because I truly care about people. I serve them and try to give them a piece of mind by listening to them, providing clear and detailed responses immediately, and establishing a schedule for each action to keep myself accountable. This attention and care has given me the 1:1 lunches with higher leadership, bonuses, promotions, and career jump that I wanted.
And sometimes what you get in return is just fun. A co-worker of mine was doubtful of me when I first stepped into the company. In fact, he wouldn’t even acknowledge my presence at times. I later learned that those doubts were stemmed from prior experiences with three fired employees who were in the same position as me. Instead off focusing on the negativity, I did what I knew. I remained cordial and focused on providing an efficient working environment for him. After a month of disregarding me, he finally came up to me and told me how much he appreciated my work. From there, our relationship only grew. Not only did work get better, but he started to make homemade truffles for me since he knew I loved chocolate. Although this may not be a big deal to many, his simple act of gesture brightened my day. And don’t we all need just a little bit more light?
I’m not saying that we should solely portray love to get something back in return. In fact, we should be aware that the love we give to others may not come with anything in return. And at times, people may even hurt us even if we put our heart out. The main message is that good comes to us when we do good. When people see the attention, care, and thought that you have put into a relationship, most likely they will want to show their appreciation. And if not, remember there is nothing wrong with spreading love. While it’s not 100% guarantee you will get it from everyone, you still added good to this world in a place where it can get exhausting. You’ve given more light to people around you. You’re spreading the right message to where our society should be today. You’re a role model. So why wouldn’t you want to love and serve others?
Think with love. Listen with love. Focus with love. Act with love. And speak with love. Be the one to love and to serve first. When you’re in a conversation, focus on listening and speaking with intention. Do not let thoughts wander. When someone is searching for a job, connect them with someone that can help. If you know someone is unhappy, follow-up with them. If it’s been awhile since you reached out to someone, shoot them a text. Be the first to approach another during a networking event. Do things that take effort. Be the light for others and your own light will only get brighter because of what you emit yourself. Have the willingness to know that your love may not come with anything and that is alright. You have done well for yourself and to others.